This story is about breast cancer. I know for some it might be difficult if not impossible to read. I understand. I’m not one who likes to give or get spoilers but there are times when they are appropriate. Should you need to know any details before you make the decision to read this please contact me.

Chapter Thirty-six

April 3, 2006

There was a strange kind of excitement in the Frayne household. It was a Monday morning, so that meant the weekly struggle to get Lizzie off to school. She still was bubbling about her new cousin, Peter Rabbit. But that wasn’t the reason.

Trixie was getting ready for her last round of chemotherapy. She had convinced herself that no matter how awful she felt after this round she would get through it, if only because it was going to be her last treatment. She was looking forward to her hair starting to grow back and regaining her strength.

Jim was whistling as he got ready for the day. As he poured glasses of milk for Matt and Lizzie, he went from whistling to singing. “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay, my, oh my, what a wonderful day.” Jim’s singing was not any that would win him a recording contract. In fact, it was rather off key.

Lizzie giggled at her father’s antics but Matt cringed in embarrassment, despite the fact that no one but his family could hear his dad’s awful singing.

“Dad, you’re embarrassing me,” he said, covering his ears to protect them from the noise.

Jim was in too a good of a mood to let that deter him. In fact, it only egged him on. Singing even louder and more off key, he continued, “Plenty of sunshine heading my way. Zip-a-dee-do-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay.”

Trixie came into the kitchen carrying Jenny. Jenny was giggling and trying to sing along with her father. Trixie set her in her highchair and then covered her own ears. “I didn’t know we had a cat in the house and that someone had stepped on its tail,” she teased.

Still not deterred, Jim continued, “Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder.” He forgot some of the words so he just lah-lahed through the next line then finished the song off with a flourish, “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay, Wonderful feeling, wonderful day.” When he was done, he bowed grandly.

Matt applauded enthusiastically. “Bravo. He’s done singing,” he teased.

Playfully, Jim swiped at his son. “And for my next number I will be doing…”

“No, more, Dad,” Matt pleaded. “Please, I can feel a headache coming on.”

Jim relented and went about making sure everyone had eaten a proper breakfast. As they had done the previous times, Jim and Trixie got Matt and Lizzie on the bus. They got Jenny ready, dropped her off at the daycare and headed toward the clinic.

Trixie had brought along a well-worn copy of Lucy Radcliffe and The Mystery in Cairo. It was one of her favorite books in the series. She had read it so many times she could recite passages by heart. Now that she had been through chemo a few times, she wasn’t as nervous and knew she would get bored. Jim had brought some papers that Brenda had prepared for his signature. After the nurse had started the IV, the two began to read.

Both of them were so involved in what they were reading that when the nurse came to tell them that they were free to leave, they both looked up in surprise. After gathering up their belongings, they made a tentative appointment for Trixie to come in for an IV later in the week should she need it.

As they walked out of the clinic, Trixie said to Jim, “I’m not sure what we should do. I know in a couple of hours I’m going to feel real crappy, but I’m really restless right now. Going home just doesn’t appeal to me.”

“Your wish is my command,” Jim replied. “I’m game if you are. You know what you are capable of doing and on the off chance you don’t make it to a bathroom before breakfast comes up, I will even clean up the mess.”

Trixie opened the passenger door of Jim’s Prius and got in. When they were both inside the car she responded, “I’m not sure I’m ready to brave public embarrassment. I know Honey won’t be in the office this morning and Dan’s busy all week trying to wrap up as much stuff as he can before his last day on the force and Hallie is out of town for a few days doing research for a case.” Trixie paused for a few minutes.

“So where should we go?” Jim asked.

“Oh, you might as well just head home. Maybe you can get in a little work at the school before I start worshipping the porcelain god.”

Jim pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward Ten Acres. They rode in companionable silence. When he pulled into the garage he said, “I know that it’s useless to volunteer to stay down here, so I’m heading to the school without any fuss.” He got out of the car and walked around to open Trixie’s door and helped her out. He embraced her and placed a warm kiss on her lips. “Call me at the first sign of an upset stomach.”

Trixie watched as Jim headed up the path to the school. She was glad that spring was well on its way and heavy winter jackets had been exchanged for lighter weight ones. It gave her a better view of her husband’s sexy backside. Just before he was out of hearing distance, Trixie gave a wolf whistle. Jim stopped, turned to look back at his wife and gave her a smoldering look before disappearing down the trail.

Trixie grabbed her purse and book, and headed into the house. She wandered through the house. There were no dishes or laundry to do and all of the rooms had been cleaned on Sunday so that it wouldn’t be hanging over her head today. She didn’t really know what she wanted to do. She’d had her fill of reading.

Eventually she wandered into the den. Sitting on the coffee table was a scrapbook that Honey had made for her years ago. It held newspapers and mementos, along with pictures of the adventures they had taken when they were teenagers.

The pages were well worn, as Trixie had spent many hours looking through the book with awe. The first time she had paged through it, she focused on how the book was put together. She couldn’t believe the work Honey had put into it. There were photos that she hadn’t even known had been taken. Then there were all of the newspaper clippings. Trixie had no idea how Honey had acquired some of them, but knew that Matt Wheeler probably helped more than a little. It was the other things that surprised her the most. There were the plane ticket stubs from the first plane ride she had taken -- the Christmas the Bob-Whites had spent in Arizona. Honey had managed to make a copy of the cover sheet of the essay she had written about Arizona with the “A” she had received as a grade affixed to it. Honey had used it as background for one of the pages.

Somehow she’d found a business card of the jewelry store where Jim had bought Trixie’s silver bracelet and unbeknownst to her, Honey had snapped a photo of Trixie and Jim holding hands on the return trip from Iowa, Jim’s name showing clearly on the bracelet.

As Trixie turned each page, she relived those adventures. Now that she was an adult, she could look at the situations better. She didn’t cringe when she thought of all of the lectures she had received from Jim and Brian. She could now appreciate them for the concern they were, and not just think of them as being spoilsports. She still would blush a little when she thought of all of the conclusions to which she had jumped. One of the worst was thinking Mr. Maypenny was a unicycle-wielding poacher. Oh, to be young again.

Trixie had been looking at the scrapbook for about an hour when she started to doze off. Before she got too comfortable, she went in search of a receptacle in case she couldn’t make it to the bathroom before she started to throw up. The last thing she grabbed before she settled onto the couch was the cordless phone.

Trixie was dreaming about sailing around Cobbett’s Island. Every summer when she was in college, she and Jim would spend at least a long weekend sailing and being beach bums. In her dream, they had gone out sailing. A squall came up unexpectedly and their mainsail had torn. The two of them were frantically trying to keep the boat upright but Trixie felt seasickness coming on. A Coast Guard boat was pulling up beside them ringing a bell. The bell rang with regular occurrence and no matter what was said, it didn’t stop. Just as Trixie thought the seasickness was never going to subside, she awoke from her dream. The phone was ringing and her stomach was churning.

Without thinking, Trixie threw up in the wastebasket. By the time she was finished, the phone had quit ringing. Slowly, she got up and gingerly walked into the bathroom to wash her face and rinse her mouth. She knew it had been Jim who was calling and figured by the time she got cleaned up and the phone dialed, he would be rushing through the door.

Sure enough, just as Trixie had settled herself in front of the toilet, she heard the door open and slam shut. She could hear Jim rush into the house and tear through the kitchen and toward the den. After checking in the den, the footsteps appeared to have slowed down a bit as if Jim was trying to bring his emotions back under control. The footsteps stopped outside of the bathroom and Trixie could hear deep breathing as he was further trying to get his emotions under control.

“Trixie?” Jim asked quietly. “Are you in there?”

Trixie tried not to groan as she answered, “Come on in and join the puke party.” As she finished the sentence, her stomach began to wretch again. Gently, Jim bent down and rubbed between her shoulder blades. During the previous three rounds of chemo, he had discovered which areas of her body she could tolerate being touched and which ones caused her pain.

When Trixie had finished this round of praying to the porcelain god, she whispered, “Thanks.”

“I just wish I could have gotten here sooner,” he said. “Why didn’t you call me? I want to help, you know. You shouldn’t have to do all of this alone.”

Trixie knew how important it was for Jim to help out. “I really didn’t mean to not call you,” she explained. “I had been looking through a scrapbook when I started to fall asleep. I figured I’d better take advantage of it while I felt good. So I gathered a few supplies and took a nap in the den. I started dreaming we were sailing and I got seasick. The next thing I knew the phone was ringing and my stomach needed to be emptied.”

A wave of nausea hit Trixie again. She turned her head and barely hit the toilet bowl.

Jim still hadn’t gotten used to seeing his wife in distress. He had learned to handle the excitement and danger that she sometimes found herself in as part of her job. Seeing her weak and vulnerable were difficult for him to handle. He was so used to seeing Trixie as the strong one. It took a few minutes for Jim to get his emotions under control.

“What can I do to help you, sweetie?” he gently asked.

“Can you help me get upstairs? I somehow missed the toilet at one time and I’d like to change into some comfortable fleece sleep pants and a t-shirt. The softer, the better,” Trixie explained.

Jim gently helped his wife off the floor. He knew that her skin could not tolerate a lot of touching so once he was sure she was firm on her feet, he gently let go of her and then followed her up the stairs, ready to catch her if she stumbled.

It was almost an hour before Trixie had changed and could think about resting. By the time she made it to the top of the steps, she was ready to pay a visit to the toilet again. By now, most of the contents that had been in her stomach had been expelled and she was reduced to dry heaves. The dry heaves were worse than the actual puking. They seemed to last longer and be more intense.

When she had finished in the bathroom, she was so weak she could barely stand. She didn’t know if she could tolerate Jim’s arms around her to help her to the bedroom either.

Tears welled in her eyes but they also had some spark in them as well, “I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I hate this!! Can I just curl up in a ball and die?”

Jim seemed a little distracted, like he was fighting a demon. “Would you just shut up?” Jim yelled.

Startled, Trixie looked up at him as if he had lost his mind. “Excuse me?” she said.

Jim hurried over and started to wrap Trixie in his arms, momentarily forgetting about the pain she was in. He stopped abruptly and got a sheepish look on his face. “I’m sorry. I was talking to panicked Jim,” he admitted.

Trixie took one look at Jim’s forlorn face and started to giggle. She collapsed back onto the floor. Jim good-naturedly started to laugh as well. He knelt down to make sure she wasn’t hurt. Finally she said, “Oh, we’ve got to stop. It hurts too much to laugh.”

It still was a few minutes before she stopped giggling. When she finally got it under control she said, “Okay, let’s take the bull by the horns and just do it.” Jim stood up and once again gently helped her to her feet. “Let’s just do it. I think I can handle it if you put your arm around my waist instead of my shoulder and let me lean into you as I need to.”

Jim nodded and then did as Trixie had asked. Once they started moving, they didn’t stop until they made it to the bedroom. She gently lowered herself onto the bed and Jim went to find her favorite pair of fleece sleep pants and t-shirt. As she sat there, the dry heaves started up again.

“Jim,” she said weakly between heaving.

“I’m here,” he said rushing over to her to hold her as she continued to heave. It tore at his heart to not be able to physically comfort her like he wanted to. Finally, the heaves subsided and Trixie leaned back against the pillow. After she had caught her breath, she opened her eyes.

“Okay, we got through that. Now let’s try and get my clothes changed.” Together the two of them worked to get Trixie changed. She tried to do as much as she could on her own, but when she didn’t have the strength she allowed Jim to help her. When she was done, Jim pulled back the covers and tucked her into the bed.

“I’m going to go down and get you something to drink. I’ll be right back,” he said. Jim rushed out of the door and down the stairs to the kitchen. He contemplated getting some Ensure but decided that for now water was the best.

When he returned, Trixie tried to take a couple of sips of water. Although her stomach tolerated it, she didn’t drink too much, hoping it would stay down. “I still can’t get over how quickly I go from feeling good to complete agony,” she said. “I don’t know if I could handle doing another round of this.”

She lay back on the pillows and within a few minutes, she was sound asleep. As she slept, Jim picked up the cordless phone that sat on the nightstand and walked into the hall. He had left the school so fast that he hadn’t even turned off his computer. He spoke with Brenda and then with Diana. Diana had said she would be on call to help tonight if needed.

“Di, do you think you could come down and help get dinner on the table?” Jim asked.

“You know whatever you need, Mart and I will be there. Do you want me to order pizza or something?” Diana asked.

Jim ran his fingers through his hair, trying to remember what Trixie had told him last night about what she had prepared for dinner. Finally, he remembered. “Trixie made a huge pot of chicken noodle soup and I think she picked up some bread from Gino’s bakery. All that needs to be done is heat it up.”

“That shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m just about done here. I’ll run down and meet Lizzie and Matt when the bus drops them off,” she volunteered. “Mart will get together that paperwork you wanted and bring that and your laptop down when he leaves.”

Jim ended the conversation and quietly walked into the bedroom and replaced the handset. Then he went over and sat in the chair and rested his eyes. Before he knew it, he heard Matt, Lizzie and Diana come in the front door.

Quickly, he got up and went down to greet his kids. Even though they were familiar with the routine, he wanted to reassure them that everything was going okay. After hugging them, he briefly updated them on how their mom was doing. Then he asked them about their day and tried to focus on what they were telling him.

Diana moved into the kitchen and began to get dinner on the table. Both Matt and Lizzie had homework to do and they set about getting it done as soon as possible. Jim had promised they could watch a movie later that evening if they got their homework done before dinner.

As Diana was putting the finishing touches on dinner, there was a knock on the door. Jim went over to open it. Honey was standing outside with Jenny in her arms. There were tears running down Jenny’s cheeks.

Jim took her from Honey and asked, “Hey, sweetie. What’s the matter?” He placed a kiss on her forehead and started to take off her jacket.

“The daycare said she had been having a rough day today. She wasn’t really into sharing toys and was very clingy. I hope she’s not coming down with something,” Honey explained.

“I do, too,” Jim replied. “That’s the last thing this household needs.” Jim tried to set Jenny down so he could hang up Jenny’s things, but she wrapped her arms around Jim’s neck and grabbed his hair so hard he could barely move. “Hey, what’s the matter?” he asked Jenny soothingly.

Just then, they heard a commotion from upstairs. Jim looked around at a loss for what to do. He hadn’t gotten panicked Jim out of the house, and he was coming on with a vengeance. He tried to put Jenny down again but she wouldn’t let go.

“Jim,” Honey offered. “I’ll go up and see what Trixie wants. You know Brian is going to want a detailed report on how she is doing.”

While all of this was going on, Diana had steadfastly finished the dinner and had everything ready to eat. “Do you think Trixie might want some of this soup?” she asked.

Jim sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, cuddling Jenny to his chest. “I don’t think so. She usually has a hard time the first day keeping anything but water down. She gets so upset if she makes any kind of mess, so she sometimes won’t even try to eat anything.” He sighed heavily. “I know that can’t be good for her.”

Jenny’s sobs had been reduced to sniffles. Within a few minutes she was sound asleep in her dad’s lap. Diana called Matt and Lizzie to the dinner table just as Mart came through the door with Jim’s paperwork and laptop.

Over the noise of the meal, Mart tried to explain to Jim about some of the paperwork Brenda had sent.

Finally, Jim said, “I know I won’t get to this tonight. Tell Brenda I’ll try to call her sometime tomorrow morning. If there’s anything that needs my immediate signature, let me know. I’m going to rely on you to keep me abreast of things.”

Mart looked Jim squarely in the eyes. “We’ve done this three times already. We’ll make it through this one as well.”

“I know we will but for some reason, I have a feeling this round is going to be worse than the rest combined,” Jim replied. “I hope I’m wrong.”

Mart started to leave. “Why don’t you take some of this soup home for your family?” Jim offered. “We will never eat it all and then you won’t have to worry about cooking.”

Mart took him up on the offer. “That’ll be great. I know the kids will be hungry and I wasn’t looking forward to cooking tonight.” Diana packaged up some of the food and then Mart left.

Jim tried to eat some soup with his kids and continued to hold Jenny. He knew that not taking care of himself would hurt the entire family. Halfway through the meal, Honey came down the stairs. She looked visibly upset. Jim struggled to get to his feet and handed the sleeping Jenny to Diana.

“What’s wrong?” Jim asked.

Honey hesitated before she answered. “I’m not quite sure. When I got up there, Trixie had somehow made it to the bathroom and was dry heaving in the toilet. I tried to tell her that she should just use the wastebasket, especially since there isn’t really anything to throw up. You know how stubborn she can be.”

Both Jim and Diana nodded in agreement.

Honey continued, “It just seemed like she couldn’t stop throwing up. I think she might have even burst a blood vessel in her eye.”

Jim started to panic and was about to head upstairs. Honey grabbed his arm and pulled him into an embrace. “I’ve got to go to her,” he said.

“Let her rest for a few minutes. I didn’t leave her until she had finished and was ready to go back to bed. I think she’ll sleep for a few minutes at least.”

Jim wasn’t convinced, but he took his sister’s advice. “Thanks for being there,” he said.

Honey gave him one last embrace before starting toward the door. “I’ve gotta go. Stella didn’t have a much better day than Jenny did. I left Brian and Mickey in charge of getting dinner but I’m sure they could use my help.”

Just before Honey walked out the door, Jim called to her. “Honey,” he said. “Could you tell Brian to call me later this evening, after the kids are asleep?”

Recognizing the need Jim had not only to talk to his best friend but a doctor as well, Honey suggested, “Why don’t you call him when you are free? That way he won’t be interrupting you if you’re helping Trixie.” She waved good-bye and left.

Everyone finished eating. Jenny had woken when Honey had come downstairs. She didn’t put up too much of a fuss when it was time to eat and by the time dinner was finished she was smiling.

Diana went quietly about cleaning up the kitchen. Matt and Lizzie helped put away the food and load the dishwasher. Jenny liked to help as well. She had been assigned to pick up all of the cloth napkins and put them in the dirty laundry.

While they were finishing up, Jim snuck upstairs to check on Trixie. When he looked in on her, she was sleeping fitfully. All of a sudden, she sat upright and wildly looked around. She found her bearings and quickly grabbed the wastebasket and began to dry heave again.

Somehow, Jim sensed that this time Trixie did not want anybody to help her. He waited until the heaving subsided and then walked into the bedroom. Quietly, he took the wastebasket from her hands and went into the bathroom where he emptied the liner into a larger bag, rinsed it out and placed a new bag in it.

He returned to the bedroom with a glass of water and a wet washcloth. Neither one of them spoke as Jim gently washed Trixie’s face and then helped her drink some water. Miraculously, the water stayed down. Carefully, he set her back down on the pillows and tenderly kissed her forehead. He pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down, watching her until she fell back into a restless sleep.

Jim leaned back in the chair and threw his head back. He looked at the ceiling as he pleaded, “Oh, God, please let us all get through this last round. Give me the strength to do what has to be done and please spare my sanity.” He didn’t know how long he sat there. There was a light rap on the door. Diana poked her head into the bedroom.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“As good as can be expected,” Jim replied. “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this round.” Diana walked into the room and gave him a much-needed embrace.

“Lizzie and Jenny are sound asleep. I think Matt is reading,” Diana said. “And the kitchen is picked up and I did a load of laundry.”

Jim ran his hand through his hair. “Thanks for everything. You will never know how much it means to all of us.”

“It’s nothing. Is there anything else you want to me to do before I leave? If not I’m going to go. Hopefully, the kids won’t be quite asleep before I get home.”

“No, we should be fine. Tell Mart I’ll try to call him in the morning, but there’s nothing too earth shattering that can’t wait for a day,” Jim replied.

“Will you be okay tomorrow getting the kids ready and everything?”

Jim guided Diana out the door as the spoke and headed down to the kitchen. “Moms is supposed to be here by six thirty. She’ll get the kids off the bus and take Jenny. I’m not sure if I’m going to send her to daycare or just have Moms take her.”

“Well,” Diana began. “If it were me, I’d probably send her with Moms. Jenny knows something’s going on. I’m sure both Jenny and Moms would have a great day together.”

Jim walked to the closet and retrieved Diana’s coat. “That’s probably what I’ll do. It will be easier on Honey, too. She won’t have to make the extra trip out here.”

“You know she doesn’t mind and she’ll probably stop by anyway to see for herself how the two of you are doing,” Diana said. She pulled her car keys out of her pocket and picked up her purse. Giving Jim one last embrace, she said, “Call us if you need anything.”

After Diana left, Jim went into the den, picked up the phone and dialed Brian’s number. He left the door open so that he could hear if Trixie got up. As he waited for Brian to answer the phone, Jim sat down in the easy chair.

“Hello,” Brian said.

“It’s Jim.” Jim pulled his hand over his face.

“How are you doing?” Brian asked. “Honey said you were going to call.”

“On a scale of one to ten, I’m at about a negative three,” Jim responded.

“That bad?”

Jim sighed. “I should be better able to handle this. I just can’t stand to see Trixie suffer. And it seemed like the nausea hit with a vengeance tonight.”

“You did know that it could get worse, didn’t you?” Brian asked.

“Yes, I just kept hoping that it wouldn’t. She seemed so positive that this time would be so much better,” Jim explained. He stood up and began to pace the room.

“What is she doing now?” Brian asked.

“Sleeping restlessly. That’s what she’s been doing most of the night, when she’s not puking. I’ve tried to get her to drink water and she’s made an effort but the last time it came back up almost as fast as it went down.”

“I’m going to put my doctor hat on for a second, Jim, and give you a suggestion,” Brian said. “Why don’t you call Dr. Weber tomorrow and see if he’ll subscribe an anti-nausea medication? I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to suggest it before.”

“He suggested one, but Trixie didn’t want to take it,” Jim explained. “Remember how sick she was when she was pregnant with Jenny? She tried an anti-nausea med then and it made her feel worse. She decided she didn’t want to risk making matters worse so she opted not to take anything.”

“Well, I can’t say I blame her for not wanting to risk it,” Brian said.

“I’d better get going. I want to get in as much sleep as I can when I can.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do. I’m on call tonight but then I should be available to help out.”

The two friends said their good-byes and hung up the phone. Jim slowly climbed the stairs. Miraculously, Trixie was still asleep and she seemed to be much more comfortable then she had been earlier in the evening.

Chapter Thirty-seven

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Monday night had been the calm before the storm -- if you considered waking up three times in the middle of the night to puke calm.

Moms had arrived early on Tuesday morning and had gotten the kids on the bus. She prepared some sandwiches for Jim for lunch as well as made sure there was some chicken soup for Trixie to attempt to eat. Moms then took Jenny to Crabapple Farm with instructions to call if she was needed. She also said she would keep Jenny overnight if needed.

Hallie was planning on coming over in the evening to pick up Lizzie and Matt. She was going to take them out for burgers at Wimpy’s and then take them to the park to run off some energy.

Jim had struggled all day Tuesday to get Trixie to at least try to eat something. Unfortunately, no matter what tactic they used, whatever went down came up within a minute. Her stomach muscles ached from the heaving and both of her eyes had broken blood vessels in them from the violent puking.

Jim had been so busy he had hardly been able to think. This was probably good, because it gave him less time to worry. By Tuesday evening, Trixie was not getting any better. Early in the afternoon, Jim called Moms to see if the kids could spend the evening at Crabapple Farm. That would free him up to focus all of his energy on Trixie.

Moms said she would come up about the time the bus was supposed to drop off the kids. She would get some clothes for the kids and she also wanted to check on Trixie.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Jim was getting to the point of exhaustion. At about nine o’clock, someone knocked on the door. Dejectedly he went to door. Brian was standing there with his black doctor bag in one hand and a backpack in the other.

“What brings you here?” Jim asked.

Without a hint of remorse, Brian replied, “Moms called and said that you could use some help. I’m here to take the night shift.”

Jim’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Are you sure? Don’t you have to work tomorrow?” he asked.

Brian walked into the living room and set down his bags. “It hasn’t been that long since I finished my residency. I think I can still handle an all-nighter.”

“Well, I’m not going to argue with you. Trixie is not taking in much water and I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid if she doesn’t get some nutrition soon she’s going to end up in the hospital.”

Jim took Brian’s coat and hung it up. He bent down and picked up the backpack as Brian picked up the other bag. Then they headed up to the master bedroom.

“Well, let me worry about that for a few hours. You look wiped out,” Brian said.

“I think you need your eyes tested, Doc,” Jim replied. “I look and feel like death warmed over.” Part of Jim had wanted to protest that he could handle this, but experience had told him, once again, to take advantage of what was offered.

As they quietly entered the bedroom, Trixie started to moan. Her face was gaunt, there were dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks were sunken in. Blindly she reached over the side of the bed and grabbed for the wastebasket. Jim rushed over to assist her. For several minutes she wretched but nothing came up.

When she had finished, both of them looked up to see Brian standing with a cool washcloth in his hand ready to assist. There was a look of concern in his eyes that Jim hadn’t seen since the day Trixie had been diagnosed. Brian didn’t say anything as he handed the washcloth to Jim.

“Trixie, honey,” Jim said. “Your other knight in shining armor has come to spend the night with you.”

Trixie tried to muster a smile but it didn’t even make it to the corner of her lips. “Thanks, Brian. I know how bad Jim looks, so I can only imagine what I look like.”

For several minutes, the three of them made small talk. Finally Brian said, “I’m putting on my doctor hat now and ordering both of you to bed.”

“All right, all right,” Jim replied. “I’ll be in the guest bedroom if you need me, Trix. Until then I’m going to get some beauty sleep. It’s just what the doctor ordered.”

With a quick kiss to Trixie’s head, Jim left as Brian settled in for a night of Trixie sitting.

Wednesday, April 6, 2006

Surprisingly, Jim slept through the night. He woke up about six o’clock and tiptoed in to check on Trixie. Brian looked like he had taken the time for a quick shower and was sitting on a chair next to the bed, leaning his arms onto his legs and staring off to space. Jim could tell Brian had a lot on his mind.

“How’d it go last night?” Jim asked. Trixie was still asleep and he hoped to get in a shower before she woke up and Brian had to leave.

It took a few minutes for Brian to respond. Finally, Jim stopped what he was doing to look directly at Brian. “Come on, tell me what you’re thinking,” Jim urged.

“Trixie had a really rough night,” Brian started. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone dry heave so often for so long. Nothing would stay down.”

Jim started to panic. “What are you saying, Brian?” he asked.

“I think you should take her in this morning,” Brian recommended. “If she were my patient, I would want to admit her.”

Jim just stared at Brian. He once again had to wrestle with his alter ego. Slowly he took several deep breaths, willing himself not to panic. “I think you’re right,” he agreed. “Let me just get changed. Then between the two of us we should be able to get her into the Expedition and to the hospital.”

Brian walked over to Jim and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Would you like me to call Dr. Weber for you and let him know we’re coming in?”

“That would be great,” said Jim, “Just one of the perks of having a best friend who’s a doctor.”

Jim quickly finished gathering up his clothes and headed toward the bathroom. By the time he had finished showering, Trixie had started to stir again. Quickly, Jim explained the situation to Trixie. He knew she must have really been feeling crappy because she didn’t put up any fight about going.

While Jim tried to gently get Trixie cleaned up and into some clean comfortable sweats, Brian went downstairs to call his mother and let her know what was going on. He also called Honey to let her know he would not be coming home before he went to the clinic.

When Jim had Trixie ready to go, he and Brian helped her down the stairs and into the car. She was so frail that either one of them could have carried her the entire way without even having to take a deep breath. Trixie didn’t want to be carried, however, so they flanked either side of her.

They pulled into the hospital about seven o’clock. Brian had just enough time to help Jim get Trixie into the emergency room before he had to be to his office. Dr. Weber was already there waiting for them.

Dr. Weber ordered a quick exam and then immediately started an IV. Fortunately, Trixie still had her port in, so they didn’t have to try to put in a new line. Blood was drawn and sent to the lab. Within an hour, he was making arrangements to admit Trixie to the hospital.

Despite being prepared for the inevitable, Jim still was visibly upset. It was Trixie that brought him around.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” she said. “I will do just about anything to get me to feel better. It shouldn’t be too long and I’ll be home.” She reached out to grab his hand. Suddenly she was once again overcome by an upset stomach. The nurse quickly got her something to throw up in. Much to Jim’s dismay, it seemed worse than it had been before.

Jim didn’t say anything for a few minutes. When he finally did, he had a pained look in his eyes. “Whatever you want is okay with me,” he said.

The nurse came in to take some additional information. Within a half an hour, a bed was ready and they took Trixie up to her room.

After she had settled in the nurse came in with a unit of blood. “Your blood levels were borderline low. Because of your upset stomach and dehydration, Dr. Weber felt it would be good to do a transfusion.” By the time the transfusion was finished Trixie had drifted off into what appeared to be a restful sleep.

Jim took the time to call Trixie’s parents as well his own to let them know where they were. He also called the school and spoke with both Brenda and Mart. Everyone at the school was doing okay. The students had noticed Jim’s absence and were worried about him.

Jim had just finished updating Mart about what was happening when Brian called to check in. He had had a cancellation and therefore had time to talk for a few minutes.

As had become his habit, Brian first asked about how Jim was doing and then Trixie. He knew that Jim tended to forget about taking care of himself if he wasn’t reminded.

“Surprisingly, I’m doing pretty well,” Jim said. “I think having Trixie not fight coming here helped a lot. She’s come a long way as far as care is concerned. I don’t think she would have come so willingly if this was the first round of chemo.”

“You know it’s what’s best for her, don’t you?” Brian asked.

“My brain knows that but my heart just hates seeing her suffer. I know that in the end it will be worth it if she comes out of it. There are days like today that I wonder if the cure is worse than the disease.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Jim, to help,” Brian consoled. “I did a rotation in oncology when I was doing my residency. I saw so many people that survived cancer because of the chemo, but there were the ones who went through all of the chemo and I wondered if it was really worth it.” Brian paused to gauge Jim’s reaction. “It makes you wonder a lot about quality of life versus quantity.”

A look of panic flickered across Jim’s eyes before he brought his emotions under control.

Brian continued, “Don’t get me wrong. I think that Trixie’s going to be fine.”

The two chatted for a few more minutes and then hung up.

About an hour later, Peter Belden walked into the hospital room. He had a newspaper under his arms and a bouquet of tulips in the other. Trixie was still sleeping peacefully. “How’s she doing?” he whispered as he placed the tulips on a shelf and bent down to gently kiss his daughter’s bare forehead.

“Pretty good, I think,” Jim replied. “She’s been sleeping for a couple of hours and I think her stomach has stopped heaving for awhile.” He stood up, shook his father-in-law’s hand and then embraced him.

“Now, how are you doing?” Peter inquired. “And don’t try to fool me by saying you’re just fine.”

Jim’s eyes twinkled just a little. “You know me almost as well you know your daughter. Truthfully, for the most part I’m doing well. Of course, if I don’t watch it, I’ll be headed toward a major ulcer. Brian has been a great listener.”

Peter just nodded in agreement. After taking a seat, the two of them sat in silence for several minutes.

“Have you had any lunch, or breakfast for that matter?” Peter asked.

Knowing that he couldn’t put anything past him, Jim replied, “Not really.”

“Why don’t you go and get something to eat, get out of here for a while. I’ll stay here so if Trixie wakes up she won’t be alone.”

Jim hesitated. His stomach had been grumbling for some time now. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. I haven’t done my stint of Trixie-sitting yet. It gives me a good reason to get away from the bank for a few hours. They’re installing a new computer system and there are lots of bugs to be worked out. This dinosaur just ends up getting in the way.”

Jim, realizing that his father-in-law needed to sit with Trixie as much as he needed to leave, stood up, grabbed his jacket and headed toward the door. “If Trixie wakes up, tell her I’ll be back soon.”

Peter shook his head and chuckled at Jim’s obvious statement.

As Jim was heading out of the hospital, he ran into Honey. She gave him a tight embrace.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

Jim thought for a minute. It seemed like everyone was asking that question today. Finally he replied, “You know, I think I’m doing okay. It pains me to see Trixie going through all of this but I know she’s where she should be. She’s finally stopped throwing up, so I’m guessing she’s getting better.”

“So, where are you off to?”

“Peter stopped by and said he would sit with Trixie while I went out and got something to eat. Would you care to join me?” Jim asked.

Honey looked over Jim’s shoulder and her eyes lit up slightly. Jim turned around and noticed Brian coming out of the clinic door heading toward them.

“I’m meeting Brian for a quick lunch and then was going to stop by and see how you and Trixie were doing.” Honey walked over and embraced her husband. She gave him an extra squeeze before she turned back to Jim. Brian’s arm remained on her shoulder.

Brian discreetly eyed Jim to see how he was holding up. “Trixie still sleeping?” he asked.

“She was when I left. Your dad dropped by and said he’d take his turn at Trixie-sitting. I was just going to go get something to eat. Later, I want to go pick the kids up at school and take them out to Crabapple Farm,” Jim explained.

“Will you join us for lunch?” Brian asked. Jim agreed and they decided to go over to Wimpy’s for hamburgers. To Jim and Brian, they rated right up there with Moms’ cooking as the ultimate comfort food.

The three friends enjoyed lunch. They were all able to take their minds off Trixie’s health issues for a few minutes and talk about mundane everyday topics.

They finished eating and returned to the hospital in time for Brian to drop in to see Trixie before his next patient. Trixie had just woken up and it was obvious that she was already feeling better. Peter headed back to the office after a few minutes.

At about two thirty, Honey pushed Jim out the door to go pick up Matt and Lizzie. He was going to bring them to see Trixie and then take them to Crabapple Farm. After he left, Trixie also suggested that Honey go as well. She was tired and would take another nap before the kids came over.

The kids stopped by for a few minutes and then Jim took them to their grandparents. Trixie had encouraged him to then head over to the school and check in with Brenda. She knew that spending some time at the school would rejuvenate him.

Trixie ended up spending three nights in the hospital. While she had managed to stop dry heaving, she still had trouble keeping food down. Dr. Weber didn’t want to send her home too soon only to have her end up back in the hospital.

Trixie only put up a token protest. Her body had taken a real toll during this round of chemo. She took advantage of her stay and concentrated on resting and allowing her body to heal. She had visitors throughout her stay, but everyone made sure the visits were short so that she could get some much needed rest.

She practically threw Jim out of her room the second day. She knew that for his mental health, he needed to spend some significant time at the school. Being around the kids had become therapy for him, going back to when the school had first opened. Jim really didn’t protest too much. He could see what she was doing. He was going to take advantage of the nursing staff and go up to the school.

Once Trixie came home from the hospital, she improved dramatically. As hard as the first few days after the treatment were, the rest of the time recovering from it went quickly and smoothly.

While Trixie knew that the radiation therapy would be draining, she also knew that the worst of the treatments was behind her. They would be every day but fortunately she didn’t anticipate being physically sick from the treatments.

When she started back with the agency, she hoped to be able to dive into several new cases right away. She also had the remodeling of their new offices to coordinate. Trixie was looking forward to her life really starting to get back to normal.

 

 

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