This story is about breast cancer. I know for some it might be difficult if not impossible to read. I understand. I’m not one who likes to give or get spoilers but there are times when they are appropriate. Should you need to know any details before you make the decision to read this please contact me.

Chapter Twenty-six

Monday, February 20, 2006

Once again it was chaos at the Frayne household. Lizzie was being difficult about getting up and ready for school, and Matt was pushing all the right buttons to make it even worse. Trixie was trying to put the finishing touches on several meals so when she didn’t feel like eating or cooking, there would be something easy for the family to fix.

Trixie was much calmer for this round of chemo. She had stocked up on Ensure and Gatorade for herself. All of the laundry was done, folded and put away. She had spent Saturday morning making sure the house was picked up and dusted. Now she was just trying to keep busy before it was time to go to the clinic.

Jim was put in charge of getting the kids ready for school. After much discussion, Lizzie finally was dressed, had eaten breakfast and was ready to go to the bus stop. Matt, as always, had breakfast eaten, was dressed and had even made his bed before Lizzie had even come downstairs. He helped out his dad by keeping Jenny entertained while Jim was dealing with Lizzie.

When Lizzie and Matt headed out to the bus stop, Trixie and Jim both breathed a sigh of relief. Jim brought Trixie her coat from the closet and then struggled to get Jenny into her snowsuit. They would be dropping her off at the daycare center. Honey would pick her up at the end of the day. Diana was on standby for the evening to help out, leaving Jim to take care of his wife.

Trixie and Jim arrived at the clinic about nine o’clock. It wouldn’t take as long as it did three weeks ago because the port was installed. Once the IV was hooked up, it took a little over thirty minutes for it to run into her body. By ten thirty, they were headed out of the clinic. Before they left, they headed over to pediatrics to let Brian know everything had gone well.

When they got into the car, Jim asked Trixie where she wanted to go.

“You know, I think I want to go home. I just picked up J.D. Robb’s latest “In Death” book and I thought I’d curl up with it. Why don’t you go up to the school for awhile?” Trixie said. “I promise I’ll call you at the first sign of an upset stomach.”

Jim hesitated. He didn’t like that Trixie would be at home by herself, but he knew that he’d drive her crazy hovering around waiting for something to happen. He also knew that he could get from the Academy to the house in less than seven minutes.

So when they got home, Trixie grabbed a Gatorade, her book and curled up on a couch in the den. Jim found her favorite jazz CD and put it into the sound system. He kissed her and gave her a hug and without any further ado headed to the school.

Jim knew he wouldn’t get much done at the school, but he would try to do something other than wait. When he finally made it to the school, Brenda handed him a list of messages as he walked into the office. Jim did have voicemail on his phone, but when Brenda was in the office and available, she took the messages. Both of them thought the personal touch was important.

Jim took the messages and began reading them. One of them was from Peter Belden. At first Jim was confused. If Peter wanted to speak with him, it was generally for a social reason and so he called the house. As he read the note further, he realized it was in regard to the school co-operative education program they were starting.

After hanging up his coat, and changing out of his snow boots and into his shoes, Jim placed a call to his father-in-law. “Peter, I was so excited to hear the bank is interested in hiring a co-op student.”

“Well, I’ve been talking to the board of directors about this. We’ve been hiring a student from Sleepyside Senior High for the last five years with great success. I proposed hiring someone from the Academy as well.”

“That sounds wonderful. I hope you won’t be creating a conflict of interest for yourself,” Jim said.

“We were discussing the need for part-time receptionist. Someone to answer the phones, do some word processing, and other tasks. I had been telling some of the bank officers about Trixie and Honey hiring a couple of seniors from the Academy. They thought it was a wonderful idea.”

Despite all of the work that Jim had put in to make the Academy successful, he was continually amazed when members of the community would do something like this, without him having to do a sales job. “Well, why don’t you put together a job description with qualifications? I’ll have Mart work with the students to tweak their resumes. In the meantime, we should also put together some sort of agreement between the school and the bank. I wouldn’t want things to fall apart because we didn’t communicate our expectations.”

“We do something similar with the high school. Why don’t I bring a copy over tonight on my way home?” Peter suggested. “That way I can check on Trixie, too.”

“That sounds great. I’ll try to get everything done from our end this week, but I’ll be perfectly honest and tell you it will depend on how Trixie’s doing.”

The two said their good-byes and hung up the phone.

Jim looked through the rest of his messages and decided they all could wait. He turned on his computer and opened up his e-mail. Scanning through it, he realized there was nothing urgent that needed to be done. Brenda was a delegate on his school e-mail account and could handle most of the messages that were in his in-box.

By now Jim was getting stir crazy. He glanced at the clock and realized it had only been forty-five minutes since he left Trixie. If he started calling her now to check up on her, he’d drive her crazy before noon. He was just about to go down to the classrooms and visit a few when his direct line rang without going through Brenda.

“Hello, this is Jim Frayne,” he said.

“Hello, Jim Frayne this is your chrome dome wife,” Trixie said.

“Is everything okay?” Jim tried to keep the panic out of his voice.

“So far, so good,” she said. “I just know you too well and figured you were debating whether to call me to check up on me.”

Even though Trixie couldn’t see him, Jim blushed. “I did consider it,” he admitted. “But I resisted.”

“I’ve been thinking,” Trixie started.

“That can be dangerous,” Jim teased.

“Do you want to hear this or not?” she threatened.

“I thought you were going to hunker down and read that new book?” he asked.

“Well, you know how it is. I started to read and then my mind started wander,” Trixie started to explain. Suddenly, it seemed like her train of thought totally switched directions. “Have you spoken with Dan lately?”

Jim could hear the concern in his wife’s voice. “I called him Friday afternoon.”

“Something’s bothering him. He gave me a ride home from the office about a week ago and he just didn’t seem happy. Then I keep hearing about all of these burglaries in town. Dan’s gotta be frustrated.”

“When I spoke with him it seemed like he was distracted. I asked him if he wanted to talk but he brushed me off.”

“I think this might be work related. He’s hinted at not being happy with his new position,” Trixie explained.

“I thought Dan loved being a detective. You, Honey, and Dan could have been cut out of the same cloth where that is concerned,” Jim commented. He stood in front of the picture window that overlooked the rain garden. A deer had walked out of the preserve and was approaching the feeders.

“I think the politics of the job is what’s getting to him, but I’m not sure.” Jim could hear Trixie moving about the house on the other end of the line. She continued, “He hasn’t really said anything to me directly. You know how closed mouthed he can be when things are troubling him.”

Jim heard and burp and a gasped. He sensed something had happened, “Trixie, honey is everything okay?”

Jim heard Trixie rushing someplace. Finally, she said, “I’d like to tell you yes, but I know you wouldn’t believe me. I’m heading toward the toilet. See you in a few. Gotta go.”

Trixie quickly hung up the phone before she threw up in the toilet. Even though her reaction to the chemo came on faster than the first time she did not feel quite as sick to her stomach. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. Experience told her to just sit where she was and wait for the next wave, but even though she felt so crappy, she still had a hard time sitting around waiting.

It didn’t take long before Jim was charging through the kitchen door. “Trixie,” he yelled. “Where are you?”

“I’m in here,” she weakly replied. From the direction her voice came, Jim quickly located her. He was somewhat surprised to see her sitting cross-legged on the powder room floor, staring off into space.

Despite having gone through something similar three weeks ago, and pep talks from Brian and Honey, as well as self-talk, Jim couldn’t help from panicking. “How are you doing? What can I do to help? Do you want me to hold your head?” Jim would have rattled off twenty more questions if Trixie hadn’t reached up to grab his hands indicating he should help her up off of the floor.

“Take a breath,” she said. “I’m doing pretty well. My stomach is still upset and I’m feeling a little weak. I was debating heading upstairs but figured I’d wait for you. You could find me a puke bucket, so in case I don’t make it there won’t be the mess to clean up.”

Jim very gently wrapped his arm around Trixie’s shoulder and placed her head on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. He needed to calm his racing heart. While he held Trixie in his arms, logical Jim and panicked Jim had a little discussion. When logical Jim finally won out he said. “I’m glad you waited but I would have cleaned up the mess if needed.” Out of habit Jim reached out to brush the curls out of Trixie’s eyes. His hand stopped in mid-air when he realized it was not necessary. A sadness briefly washed over his face but he quickly covered it up.

Not quickly enough for Trixie not to notice. Gently she grasped his hand and held it to her cheek kissing his palm. “They’ll grow back soon,” she said. No more was said between the two of them as Jim accompanied Trixie upstairs.

Without her saying anything, Jim knew that as much as Trixie would have liked him to wrap his arms around her in a tight embrace, she couldn’t tolerate it. So he guided her up the stairs by gently placing his hand on her back. By the time they reached their bedroom door, Trixie felt the urge to puke again. Quickly, she made her way to the master bathroom with Jim at her side. When she was done, she rested her head against the rim of the toilet. Jim stood up. He located a washcloth and wet it with warm water. For some reason he sensed something warm would be better than a cool one.

After he had washed her face, he brought over a glass of water for her to rinse her mouth. He then sat down next to her. They sat in silence for several minutes. When Trixie felt like she could stand without her stomach rolling, she turned to Jim to help her up. The independent spirit in her wanted to do it herself. She knew she was a little unsteady on her feet and that Jim needed to help her.

Jim helped her over to the bed and placed the lined wastebasket next her just in case. He searched through his closet until he found what he was looking for. Trixie smiled at the pair of flannel lounge pants, t-shirt and sweatshirt he handed her. While technically they were Jim’s, Trixie had staked a claim to them. They were her comfort clothes. On the rare occasion that Jim had to go out of town without Trixie, she would make him wear them the night before. Then she’d sleep in them every night until his return, savoring their smell.

Trixie tried to muster a smile. It just reached the corners of her mouth. “Thank you,” she said.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” Jim asked.

Part of Trixie wanted to tell him to she’d love for him to dress her, but her body ached so much she knew she didn’t want to be touched. “Just stay with me,” she said.

Logical Jim and panicked Jim had another argument while Trixie changed. Logical Jim knew that he should sit down and offer some sort of discussion to distract Trixie from how she was feeling. Panicked Jim wanted to pace back and forth and ask every three seconds if Trixie was all right. Once again logical Jim won out, sort of. He sat down while Trixie started to change and began telling her about one of the second graders up at the school. When the first of her clothes hit the floor he jumped up, picked it up and put it in the dirty clothes hamper. To occupy panicked Jim, instead of waiting for all of the clothes, he ran back and forth to the hamper every time Trixie dropped something on the floor.

Trixie chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Jim asked.

“You, waging war with your inner self,” Trixie replied. She quickly added, “And I so love you for it.”

Jim smiled at Trixie as he said, “Well, if it takes your mind off of everything, enjoy the show.”

For the rest of the afternoon, Trixie went between the bed and the bathroom. She was getting better at anticipating her needs and therefore didn’t feel like she needed to camp out with her head resting on the toilet. Her body’s reaction to the chemo was about the same as the last time. The difference was how she and Jim handled it. For the most part she tried to drink as much water as possible. Even if she thought it might hit the bottom of her stomach and rebound back up her throat she tried to make sure she was taking in liquids. Jim continued to wage a war between logic and panic. Logic seemed to be winning out.

At about three o’clock Mart and Diana stopped by the house to check on things. Diana decided to stay to help get the kids fed and homework completed. Mart was going to go home and do the same things. Mart had discovered that he did not do well attending to Trixie’s needs. He had a difficult time seeing her suffer. He had finally come to realize, with the help of his wife, that he was doing everyone a great service by helping out at the Academy and making sure everything was running smoothly.

Honey and Brian stopped by with Jenny at about 4:30. Brian, too, had been waging a minor war with himself. He was trying not to worry about how Trixie was doing. The doctor in him was trying to kick into high gear. An extra tight schedule at work helped him rein in his out-of-control emotions.

When Brian saw that Trixie was trying to keep hydrated and Jim hadn’t gone off the deep end, he and Honey left with the assurance that if they were needed Jim wouldn’t hesitate to call.

Dan pulled into the garage of his home, parked his truck and just sat there. It had been another grueling day with the Sleepyside Police Department.

He had left Hallie at home after returning from their weekend away. He had returned once in the last twenty-four hours just long enough to take a shower and catch a three-hour nap before his presence was “requested” back at the Police Department.

He was exhausted. He had spent the better part of the afternoon in a meeting with the chief and the mayor essentially getting his ass chewed out because they weren’t making any headway on the spree of robberies that had hit downtown Sleepyside.

While the chief knew good and well that the main reason for that was the destruction of evidence by the mayor’s nephew, no one had the balls to push the issue with the mayor and Dan wasn’t ready to put his neck on the line, yet.

Earlier in the day he had done some internal investigating. He suspected that McDaniels was somehow involved with the robberies, but had no solid evidence. It just seemed too convenient that McDaniels was always the first person on the scene. A quick check of the duty roster showed that in several instances McDaniels had not originally been scheduled to work the evening shift the date of the robberies. Somehow he’d managed to get reassigned to those shifts.

It was times like this he wished he worked for a large department where they had an Internal Affairs unit to investigate this kind of thing. Then he could take his suspicions there and not be jeopardizing his career. He loved being a detective and he loathed dirty cops.

Part of him thought, “Why bother, just do my job and ignore McDaniels.” His conscience argued back, “Yeah, right. I can’t do that without giving myself an ulcer and even if I did, I’ve been hanging around Dr. Honorable Belden and Dr. Honorable Frayne too long to ignore this.”

Dan realized he was in a no-win situation. He couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t do something, and he was committing professional suicide if he did. He needed to have some outside independent investigating done. The Frayne-Wheeler Detective Agency came immediately to mind.

Finally, he opened the truck door. He glanced at his watched; it read eight o’clock. He hadn’t realized how long he’d been sitting there. It registered that Hallie’s Solstice was parked next to his truck and Dan wondered how her day had gone.

Entering the kitchen he yelled, “Honey, I’m home.”

Hallie was just entering the kitchen when Dan walked in. She took one look at him and stepped into his arms to give him a reassuring embrace. No words were needed. After several minutes, she led him to a kitchen chair.

“Have you had a chance to eat anything at all today?” she asked.

“Not since about eight o’clock this morning,” Dan replied. “Mayor McDaniels and Molinson did though, if you count the ass chewing I got this afternoon.”

Hallie was at a loss for words. Everything that came to mind sounded trite. She was as frustrated with the situation as Dan was. She just hoped that things would get better or that Dan would find the courage to move on. Finally, she said, “I don’t know what to say. Just know I’m here for you.”

Hallie began taking food out of the refrigerator and making sandwiches for Dan. “I hope you didn’t mind that I already ate. I’ve been reading how it’s important to eat on a regular schedule when you’re pregnant.”

Dan sat down on the bar stool next to where Hallie was working. “I’m glad you didn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised to have more days like today. It could easily have been midnight tonight. Fortunately things were calm tonight.”

As she worked, she brought Dan up to date on what had happened that day. “I made an appointment with an obstetrician today. I decided to go with the one Trixie and Honey use. They were happy with her and I know that Brian would only want the best for Honey.”

Dan’s eyes perked up when Hallie started talking about the baby. He had not allowed himself to think about it all day because he knew it would distract him from the case. Now he wanted to hear all about it. “How long do you have to wait to get in?” he asked.

“Well, I got lucky. There was a cancellation for a week from tomorrow at four-thirty in the afternoon. I checked your schedule and you are supposed to be off. Would you like to come with me?”

Dan hadn’t given any thought to attending Hallie’s doctor appointments. He knew that Brian and Jim had attended most of their wives’, but he had chalked it up to their natural nervousness. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do. “I’d love to,” he replied. “Just pray there isn’t another break-in and I get called in again on my day off.”

“I did go in for a pregnancy test to make it official. It didn’t take long and the nurse was able to give me the results. She also got me a prescription for prenatal vitamins.” Hallie’s voice took on a note of excitement the more she spoke of her pregnancy.

“Well, I hope you didn’t wear yourself out too much today,” Dan commented.

“I didn’t. I worked in the morning and went to the clinic in the afternoon. After I ate dinner I took a nap.” Hallie explained. Her eyes took on a twinkle when she continued, “I hope you aren’t going to become a nervous Nell like Jim and Brian were.”

Dan had the sense to look sheepish as he replied, “Well, I’m trying not to and I know if I do you’ll take me down a peg or two.”

Hallie placed two sandwiches in front of Dan and then went to pour him a glass of milk. He ate in silence for a few minutes. All of a sudden he struck his hand to his head and said, “Damn.”

Hallie looked up with a start and asked, “What’s the matter?”

“I completely forgot that today was Trixie’s second round of chemotherapy. I wonder how she’s doing.”

“I spoke with Mart early this evening. Apparently, Trixie is doing no better than she did last time physically. Jim is not the basket case he was three weeks ago….yet. Diana was going to spend the evening at Ten Acres,” Hallie replied. Suddenly she gave a huge tonsil seeing yawn.

Dan stood up, wrapped his arm around Hallie and started to lead her to their bedroom. “Come on, Momma. You look like you can barely keep your eyes open and I feel like I could sleep until spring.”

 

 

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